*
>> Thursday, February 26, 2009
how do you remind someone of all the things they used to love?
how do you show them that those things really were worth everything?
...I don't really know what to do for you anymore...
sweet coffee, sweet friends, sweet relief*
>> Monday, February 23, 2009
"Monday Monday..."
there's an old song that starts out that way, and the melody is running through my head right now...
This weekend was really good for my heart. Even though the work days were long, the company was good, and the time I spent after work was amazing. As soon as I got off work Saturday I hurried over to Cornerstone to meet Jill and Jordyn for a girls night. When I got there I saw cars in the parking lot, which didn't really surprise me, because there are always cars there... what DID surprise me, was that the car I parked in front of had two kids smoking inside of it! I'm used to kids smoking, and I used to people smoking, it was just really weird to me that there were kids sitting in a car smoking at 715 on a Saturday night in front of our church. But it didn't take long before everything started to make sense, I walked in to find super loud music with too much bass, kids who were tattoo-ed, pierced, wearing tight jeans with flat ironed hair and clothes that looked and smelled like they hadn't been washed... for about a week. It was a scene show! Haha! I found the girls sitting at a table together and we talked for a while before we decided where to go. We ended up at Cracker Barrel with a creepy waiter who couldn't decide who to flirt with, so he flirted with all of us-- very unsuccessfully. But the conversation was great, and it felt so good to be together again. Jordyn is really sweet and carefree and even though I haven't spent very much time with her, she's very dear to me. The two of them soothed my heart without even knowing it and I'm so grateful that I got to spend the whole night with them laughing and talking.
After dinner we spent some time in Target finding Jill some hip prego jeans. Jordyn picked out the winner, and we spent the rest of the time looking through all the new bags and jewelry they have for spring. We weren't done hanging out yet, so we decided to head over to Starbucks where we shared two huge coffees on a big comfy couch. I really hope that we get to spend more time together like that, because truthfully I didn't want it to end... I really am blessed with the very best people in my life. The more time I spend with them the more time I want to find for them to fit into my life. The stories and the experiences, the dreams and the talent, and God's love pouring out into all of our lives is so reassuring, and it gives me a renewed sense of hope and purpose... just over coffee.
Sunday night was very similar-- Filled with love and laughs and a lot of hugs. Even though things are hard financially right now, I know that coming home, and being a part of Cornerstone is where we belong. Since Jordan isn't working right now we have the opportunity to get more involved in groups, and this week we're going to start going to Ryan and Mary's for small group again, as often as we can, and we're both going to be starting Cornerstone University on Thursdays. I love everyone there so much... and if you were there on Sunday night, thank you for being there. Thank you for hugging me and Jordan-- for spending time with us, offering ideas, and help and prayers. You've turned around this bad situation and made us realize that good IS going to come out of it and you helped give Jordan a renewed sense of self... Thank you for that.
By the way, over the next two days, Jordan has two interviews. Both are good jobs, but one is geared towards helping people who are struggling financially, and Jordan is very excited about that interview. He really has a heart for helping people and I hope they see that in him during the interview. So please continue praying for him, and I'll let you know more as soon as I can.
I got to hold Jonah Sunday night too. A lot of people know that Jordan and I probably aren't going to have kids, and there are a lot of reasons for that decision... but what many people don't know is that before Sunday night, I'd only held 4 babies before in my life. Just 4... Jonah was the 5.
I've held my sister, a little girl named Grace, Jaxon, Leland, and Jonah... And it meant so much for me to be able to hold him. He was a perfect little warm ball of sweet smells and soft skin. Even though he was really tired and fighting sleep, he was still sweet and only fussed a few times. I loved all 10 minutes.
I've always been afraid to ask to hold babies, especially when they're as tiny as Jonah, or Jax the first time I got to hold him... I think I'm afraid I'm going to hurt them, or that they won't like me, or that their parents will say no. I don't know, either way I always avoid holding them and I just watch other people from a distance. I've held a couple of toddlers, but it's different. My joints are really weak so I can't hold anyone over 20 pounds for very long, so I usually just ask for hugs or high fives.
Hopefully when Annie, Elise and Jill have their new babies I'll be a little braver and ask to hold them too.
bent*
>> Friday, February 20, 2009
It feels like forever since I written something of substance for my blog. I apologize, we still don't have Internet and my parents switched from cable to satellite (I might have spelled that wrong) so they're Internet has been down for the last week.
I can't promise that this will be that exciting, but fact-filled it WILL be.
I guess I'll start with last Friday. It was definitely Friday the 13 (I'm being completely sarcastic-- even though the day was long and awful, I'm not superstitious in the tiniest bit). I worked 13 hours that day and I wanted to run and hide from everyone that wanted anything to do with flowers or Valentines day... Yuck... Very nearly every person that came in (male and female) wanted a dozen red roses, and I wanted to shake them all and say "Could you please be a little more sincere and find a more heartfelt *personal* way to express your love, PLEASE?!?!" But, they left with they're ugly overpriced vases and bouquets in tow and I continued to answer the phone and attend to the 500 people that came in that day. That night I closed at the optical shop, which was much less stressful, and much needed for my aching feet.
BUT-- when I got home Friday night I was in for the sweetest surprise. Jordan had turned all the lights off in the apartment and had only the dining room lit up with two tiny candles. He made me a delicious dinner and bought me the prettiest, most wonderful smelling white rose and he had it in the vase he used the day he proposed to me, and he had cooked my favorite meal and rented a movie that he knew would make me laugh. He'd also put together a playlist of songs and he had them playing in the background when I came in and while we were eating. It was perfect and a little bit cheesy, and 100% Jordan and it made me forget for a little while about how crazy everything was that day and would continue to be throughout the week.
I ended up working a total of 63 hours that week, between both jobs... something I hope I don't have to do again for a while.
Sunday was my first day off in 23 days. Crazy.
Jordan's mom, Caleb (his youngest brother), Sinclair (his cousin), and Cindy all came out to spend the day with us on Sunday. It was a really long day-- we ended up going to the Arch and we could actually see the water tower that is across the street from our apartment (which was AMAZING), and afterwards we had lunch at the Spaghetti Factory on The Landing. Then we ventured over to Illinois to hang out and wind down at Barnes & Noble. I had my first cup of Starbucks in 4 months (oh, how I had missed it...) After our coffee we headed to church and had a great night. Ian preached a really powerful and confrontational sermon that reached every person on multiple levels, and dinner was (as it always is) eventful and extremely funny. Our food took a tumble the first time around, and wet bottomed Jax made his way around the ENTIRE table to hug everyone goodbye, haha! So funny!!
Tuesday was really relaxing and fun. I spent the morning dying my hair and I spent the afternoon and evening with one of my favorite people in the whole world-- Jonathan. We went EVERYWHERE. Seriously. I haven't been to that many stores in one day since the shopping extravaganza that happened when I was 18 with my friends Chavala. We had a blast. He needed new work clothes and we needed matching outfits (we're going to a mutual friend's wedding together in March and he wanted to make sure my dress matched his tie! haha!) We also had lunch and went antiquing (one of our favorite past times). Jon ended up buying a beautiful piece for his living room. It was a 100 year old little free standing cabinet with granite top. It has all of it's original hardware and the deal was too good to pass up. It looks awesome in his new living room and he had been wanting it for a few months. I ended up finding and incredible little gem. It's a book called "St. Louis, The Portrait of a River City". I'm not sure how many people know, but I collect old books, and this is an awesome new addition to my collection. Not only is it jam packed with great history, it's also a first edition print AND it was signed by the author!!! Apparently it was a personal gift to a friend, and it was only $5!!!! It was Published in 1966 and is still in great condition!
Unfortunately, after my lovely three day weekend (Sunday- Tuesday) the week started going down hill... Jordan got fired on Thursday.
That's a hard sentence to type... because now that I typing it and actually telling people, it's becoming real.
It wasn't his fault. He did absolutely everything he could for that restaurant, and he's a hard worker and a very dedicated person... but they've fired 7 people just since January, and for whatever reason... they chose to fire him too.
I feel awful for him, because the restaurant is poorly managed, and he put up with a lot of crap that he shouldn't have had to, he also picked up shifts whenever he could so he could to help support us. We had only just gotten to the point of recovering from moving, and starting to save up again...
So now it's just me, until Jordan can find another job.
We'd really appreciate prayers. I know everyone is aware of the current economic situation, and everyone is struggling because jobs are scarce... but I'd really appreciate if you could pray for Jordan, it's the first time he's ever lost a job and I know he feels a heavy burden on his heart as a man and as a husband right now.
He's already spent the last two days applying for jobs directly and looking into different staffing agencies. I'm really proud of him for working so hard, even though I know in his heart he's questioning so many things right now... I love him so much and I know that God is with us every step of the way... I know we'll make it through this.
I can't promise that this will be that exciting, but fact-filled it WILL be.
I guess I'll start with last Friday. It was definitely Friday the 13 (I'm being completely sarcastic-- even though the day was long and awful, I'm not superstitious in the tiniest bit). I worked 13 hours that day and I wanted to run and hide from everyone that wanted anything to do with flowers or Valentines day... Yuck... Very nearly every person that came in (male and female) wanted a dozen red roses, and I wanted to shake them all and say "Could you please be a little more sincere and find a more heartfelt *personal* way to express your love, PLEASE?!?!" But, they left with they're ugly overpriced vases and bouquets in tow and I continued to answer the phone and attend to the 500 people that came in that day. That night I closed at the optical shop, which was much less stressful, and much needed for my aching feet.
BUT-- when I got home Friday night I was in for the sweetest surprise. Jordan had turned all the lights off in the apartment and had only the dining room lit up with two tiny candles. He made me a delicious dinner and bought me the prettiest, most wonderful smelling white rose and he had it in the vase he used the day he proposed to me, and he had cooked my favorite meal and rented a movie that he knew would make me laugh. He'd also put together a playlist of songs and he had them playing in the background when I came in and while we were eating. It was perfect and a little bit cheesy, and 100% Jordan and it made me forget for a little while about how crazy everything was that day and would continue to be throughout the week.
I ended up working a total of 63 hours that week, between both jobs... something I hope I don't have to do again for a while.
Sunday was my first day off in 23 days. Crazy.
Jordan's mom, Caleb (his youngest brother), Sinclair (his cousin), and Cindy all came out to spend the day with us on Sunday. It was a really long day-- we ended up going to the Arch and we could actually see the water tower that is across the street from our apartment (which was AMAZING), and afterwards we had lunch at the Spaghetti Factory on The Landing. Then we ventured over to Illinois to hang out and wind down at Barnes & Noble. I had my first cup of Starbucks in 4 months (oh, how I had missed it...) After our coffee we headed to church and had a great night. Ian preached a really powerful and confrontational sermon that reached every person on multiple levels, and dinner was (as it always is) eventful and extremely funny. Our food took a tumble the first time around, and wet bottomed Jax made his way around the ENTIRE table to hug everyone goodbye, haha! So funny!!
Tuesday was really relaxing and fun. I spent the morning dying my hair and I spent the afternoon and evening with one of my favorite people in the whole world-- Jonathan. We went EVERYWHERE. Seriously. I haven't been to that many stores in one day since the shopping extravaganza that happened when I was 18 with my friends Chavala. We had a blast. He needed new work clothes and we needed matching outfits (we're going to a mutual friend's wedding together in March and he wanted to make sure my dress matched his tie! haha!) We also had lunch and went antiquing (one of our favorite past times). Jon ended up buying a beautiful piece for his living room. It was a 100 year old little free standing cabinet with granite top. It has all of it's original hardware and the deal was too good to pass up. It looks awesome in his new living room and he had been wanting it for a few months. I ended up finding and incredible little gem. It's a book called "St. Louis, The Portrait of a River City". I'm not sure how many people know, but I collect old books, and this is an awesome new addition to my collection. Not only is it jam packed with great history, it's also a first edition print AND it was signed by the author!!! Apparently it was a personal gift to a friend, and it was only $5!!!! It was Published in 1966 and is still in great condition!
Unfortunately, after my lovely three day weekend (Sunday- Tuesday) the week started going down hill... Jordan got fired on Thursday.
That's a hard sentence to type... because now that I typing it and actually telling people, it's becoming real.
It wasn't his fault. He did absolutely everything he could for that restaurant, and he's a hard worker and a very dedicated person... but they've fired 7 people just since January, and for whatever reason... they chose to fire him too.
I feel awful for him, because the restaurant is poorly managed, and he put up with a lot of crap that he shouldn't have had to, he also picked up shifts whenever he could so he could to help support us. We had only just gotten to the point of recovering from moving, and starting to save up again...
So now it's just me, until Jordan can find another job.
We'd really appreciate prayers. I know everyone is aware of the current economic situation, and everyone is struggling because jobs are scarce... but I'd really appreciate if you could pray for Jordan, it's the first time he's ever lost a job and I know he feels a heavy burden on his heart as a man and as a husband right now.
He's already spent the last two days applying for jobs directly and looking into different staffing agencies. I'm really proud of him for working so hard, even though I know in his heart he's questioning so many things right now... I love him so much and I know that God is with us every step of the way... I know we'll make it through this.
rain drops are falling on my head...*
>> Monday, February 9, 2009
but today is a good day!
the palm of my right hand is currently 3 times the size of the palm of my left hand...
last night I broke my only pair of glasses
and I've got blisters on both of my feet
BUT
God is amazing, and he put me right where I needed to be.
I have two jobs that I love, with managers that I will do anything and everything for, and on top of being on a very good career path, I've finally had the oppertunity to explore a lifelong dream (even if it's silly and small).
The optical shop has been one of the best job experiences I've ever had. Aside from the fact that it can be really slow sometimes, the skills that I'm learning and improving on are gong to go with me for the rest of my life. Debby is the best. Seriously. I don't know what I'd do without her. She's been a great lifeline, and she is one of the most giving people I've met. I love her already and I hope by the end of this experience I can let her know how much I appreciate her and all of the heart that she pours into everything.
Mary and Melissa, my managers at the flower shop are also wonderful. Mary has breast cancer and is currently undergoing radiation treatment and STILL comes to work everyday. Melissa is only a little older than me and she has two kids, one of which has autism and has special needs that require very dedicated, involved parents. I respect them both so much for the things they deal with everyday, on top of running a flower shop.
It's a very humbling thing, to know that at 22 I have everything I always quietly wished for and never thought I'd have. I have an incredibley sweet, supportive husband (who bought me the prettiest gifts for valentines- I'll blog about that in a couple a days) a growing relationship with God, a good relationship with my dad, a blossoming relationship with my little sister, friends that God brought into my life at the very best and most important times, and I finally work at a flower shop...
Is it weird that those things are all I've ever wanted? Is it too simple?
I hope not.
I know that this is only the beginning and that things will shift and change and grow as time goes on, but I'm enjoying celebrating a simple life with the people I love and the people I spend my days with.
It's easier to smile when you wake up knowing that when you get to work coffee, flowers, and smiles are waiting for you.
the palm of my right hand is currently 3 times the size of the palm of my left hand...
last night I broke my only pair of glasses
and I've got blisters on both of my feet
BUT
God is amazing, and he put me right where I needed to be.
I have two jobs that I love, with managers that I will do anything and everything for, and on top of being on a very good career path, I've finally had the oppertunity to explore a lifelong dream (even if it's silly and small).
The optical shop has been one of the best job experiences I've ever had. Aside from the fact that it can be really slow sometimes, the skills that I'm learning and improving on are gong to go with me for the rest of my life. Debby is the best. Seriously. I don't know what I'd do without her. She's been a great lifeline, and she is one of the most giving people I've met. I love her already and I hope by the end of this experience I can let her know how much I appreciate her and all of the heart that she pours into everything.
Mary and Melissa, my managers at the flower shop are also wonderful. Mary has breast cancer and is currently undergoing radiation treatment and STILL comes to work everyday. Melissa is only a little older than me and she has two kids, one of which has autism and has special needs that require very dedicated, involved parents. I respect them both so much for the things they deal with everyday, on top of running a flower shop.
It's a very humbling thing, to know that at 22 I have everything I always quietly wished for and never thought I'd have. I have an incredibley sweet, supportive husband (who bought me the prettiest gifts for valentines- I'll blog about that in a couple a days) a growing relationship with God, a good relationship with my dad, a blossoming relationship with my little sister, friends that God brought into my life at the very best and most important times, and I finally work at a flower shop...
Is it weird that those things are all I've ever wanted? Is it too simple?
I hope not.
I know that this is only the beginning and that things will shift and change and grow as time goes on, but I'm enjoying celebrating a simple life with the people I love and the people I spend my days with.
It's easier to smile when you wake up knowing that when you get to work coffee, flowers, and smiles are waiting for you.
strawberry wine*
>> Sunday, February 1, 2009
"funny how those memories they last--
like strawberry wine..."
like strawberry wine..."
1998- 2009*
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