the many adventures of Fred the spider

Last week seemed like it might never end...
but now it's Sunday night, and I feel the weights finally slipping off.

I'm almost positive that I worked more than I slept... but the amount of laughing that I did more than makes up for it.

Monday and Tuesday there was work... 10 hours of work, both days. But Tuesday ended well, with a lovely walk down the River De Poo (that's the river Des Peres, for everyone who doesn't frequent the area). Jonathan and I found an amazing trail that lead down the river and through some great neighborhoods. We belted out the worst 90's songs ever (it happens alot, if you encounter it, please forgive me...) and walked for probably 5 or 6 miles, through back alleys, and a turn of the century cemetery. We read the most beautifully engraved markers, many of which were from the last cholera epidemic that swept St. Louis in the late 1800's. Got a quick drink from QT and continued on our way back to the car.
We scared ourselves plenty of times, which isn't hard when you're walking the city and a very old cemetery in the dark... But, just before we got to the car we found three teeny tiny bunnies, no bigger than the palm of my hand. They were too small to know to run away from us, so they kind of just sat there while we took pictures of them and talked, poor little things. I REALLY REALLY wanted to hold one, but I know better. If their mother is still around she'd turn them away for smelling like human, and I'd hate to be responsible for an abandoned bunny.
We ended the night with Jimmy Johns and Skinny Cow Ice Cream (if you haven't tried it.... TRY IT). And when we finally got back to the house, Josh introduced me to the boys new pet, Fred the spider. Haha!! Josh catches small bugs and throws them into Fred's web... it's a little bit sick, but REALLY funny to watch. Jonathan claims that it has kept the bug count down and that it's easier and cheaper than a dog... I think they need a new hobby!! haha

Wednesday was INCREDIBLE! What a wonderful day for Earth Day! Jordan and I had the day off together and we slept IN!! oh, what a glorious feeling, to sleep past 7 am.... Then we made breakfast (Jordan makes my favorite eggs for me on my days off) and we were off. Since it was Earth Day I was determined to spend the day outside soaking up the beautiful area that we live in. We walked from our apartment, across the street to Tower Groves Park (one of St. Louis best kept secrets, and was once owned by the same man that created and dedicated the Missouri Botanical Gardens to St. Louis). We walked the tree lined path and smelled every different flower, talked to the ducks that always swim in the pond there and spotted four baby turtles. It was so nice that the park wasn't overrun with people. Since it was a weekday everyone was still at work or in school. We walked past a couple of statues and read all the inscriptions, and played on the exercise benches they have lining the trail in the park. ON our way out of the park we visited Emack and Bolio's. It was wonderfully refreshing. I got a delicious Passion Fruit smoothie and Jordan got a Gooey Butter cake ice cream sandwich and a Fitz's soda. Yumm Yumm..
Emack and Bolio's is locally owned and operated, and they only employ people from the Tower Groves area, which I think is wonderful and I'll continue my quest to support local businesses whenever I can. St. Louis, and it's surrounding areas have so much fun and flavor to offer as far as small businesses go, and I really hope that they are able to hang on through these tough times. They really are the heart and soul of the neighborhoods that surround them.
After we got back to our street we decided to take a self guided tour of the Compton Hills Water Tower, the gigantic Tower that sits across the street from our apartment and gives us a beautiful view. The grounds have a couple different historic artifacts, as well as a dog park, a playground and some tennis courts. We spent a little while swinging and watching the traffic zoom by on I-44.
It's funny how much you can enjoy something that simple... we don't get to have quiet moments like that often enough.

Thursday was another adventure, and another great day off. Another morning spent in bed and the day spent helping Jonathan paint his garage. I've painted for recreation, but I'd never painted a structure before, and even though I painted ALL OVER my hands, it was plenty of fun, and very successful. I didn't get a single drop of paint on the siding. :)
Josh cooked everyone bbq, and a few friends dropped by and we hung out in the back yard, on the front porch and finally, as the sun set, we all sunk into his brand new couches.

Friday and Saturday were back at work, which I honestly don't mind most days, especially when I work with Jackie and Kim. They are hilarious, and I appreciate them so much. They've basically adopted me, and Kim's two boys are gems. We laugh and talk and give each other hard times all day, which makes the time creep by a little bit quicker... not much, but at least we have fun. When they aren't around I crack into my new Harry Potter book (my first birthday present so far) and I'm enjoying it immensely! I know I'm a little late to be jumping on the bandwagon, but I'd honestly been skeptical until Krystan bought me the very first one, and I can't believe my own misjudgement!! LOVE it! And I'm eagerly anticipating the next 6.

Saturday night (last night), however, I got some bad news... My dad's grandma, "Big Gram's" passed away just hours before. She was wonderful little lady, who reached the very accomplished age of 92. She was 100% Italian, and full of heart. She and my dad have been very close his entire life. She helped raise him and he was definitely her favorite... He spent many many summers with her at her cottage in Cape Cod and spoke of her fondly, and often. Even though we've lived all over the world and back again, he always made time to take a trip up there to visit her whenever he could. She was the one person in his very large and estranged family that he was close to... She's been sick for quite a while, and earlier this month she suffered a heart attack and 2 strokes, the last of which left her bed-ridden, paralyzed on her left side, almost blind and put most of her major organs into shock, which eventually led to them almost completely shutting down. Even in her painful state she found little ways to communicate, and while she was in the hospital she started asking for "her Johnny"... she 's the only person in the world who could call him that.
He took a full week off work and went up to Boston, hoping to see her one more time, and let her know that he was there. Miraculously, the night that he got there her vitals got a little better and she stabilized, and made what was starting to look like a slow recovery (even though they knew from her scans that her brain was slowly bleeding). He spent the whole week right next to her bed, talking to her, getting her ice and blankets, talking about the Cape and all of their memories together... He came home on Easter Sunday, fulfilled that she had made it through the most recent stroke, but sad knowing that it would probably be the last time he saw the woman that meant so very much to him...

If you could, please keep my dad and the rest of his family in your prayers I'd really appreciate it. It's always so hard to lose someone close...

Today is his birthday, and I wish with all my heart that it could have been a better day for him. My dad has been through so much... and it breaks my heart to know how much grief he's holding onto. I hope he finds peace in the good memories... and in all of the love she had for him.

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Boston

There are very few pictures of me with my dad.

Out of all of them, this is my favorite.

My dad is from Boston,

and that's exactly where this picture was taken in March, 1989.

I wish that I was old enough to remember why he's smiling so big, what adventure we were on that day, or the way the ocean smelled.

He was my whole world, my entire childhood, and in many ways he still is.

He's turning 52 this month.

When I was little, and people used to ask why he was always gone, I'd tell them proudly that "he was saving world."

...my heart still believes it, in some small way.

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*

how do you remind someone of all the things they used to love?
how do you show them that those things really were worth everything?

...I don't really know what to do for you anymore...

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sweet coffee, sweet friends, sweet relief*

"Monday Monday..."

there's an old song that starts out that way, and the melody is running through my head right now...

This weekend was really good for my heart. Even though the work days were long, the company was good, and the time I spent after work was amazing. As soon as I got off work Saturday I hurried over to Cornerstone to meet Jill and Jordyn for a girls night. When I got there I saw cars in the parking lot, which didn't really surprise me, because there are always cars there... what DID surprise me, was that the car I parked in front of had two kids smoking inside of it! I'm used to kids smoking, and I used to people smoking, it was just really weird to me that there were kids sitting in a car smoking at 715 on a Saturday night in front of our church. But it didn't take long before everything started to make sense, I walked in to find super loud music with too much bass, kids who were tattoo-ed, pierced, wearing tight jeans with flat ironed hair and clothes that looked and smelled like they hadn't been washed... for about a week. It was a scene show! Haha! I found the girls sitting at a table together and we talked for a while before we decided where to go. We ended up at Cracker Barrel with a creepy waiter who couldn't decide who to flirt with, so he flirted with all of us-- very unsuccessfully. But the conversation was great, and it felt so good to be together again. Jordyn is really sweet and carefree and even though I haven't spent very much time with her, she's very dear to me. The two of them soothed my heart without even knowing it and I'm so grateful that I got to spend the whole night with them laughing and talking.

After dinner we spent some time in Target finding Jill some hip prego jeans. Jordyn picked out the winner, and we spent the rest of the time looking through all the new bags and jewelry they have for spring. We weren't done hanging out yet, so we decided to head over to Starbucks where we shared two huge coffees on a big comfy couch. I really hope that we get to spend more time together like that, because truthfully I didn't want it to end... I really am blessed with the very best people in my life. The more time I spend with them the more time I want to find for them to fit into my life. The stories and the experiences, the dreams and the talent, and God's love pouring out into all of our lives is so reassuring, and it gives me a renewed sense of hope and purpose... just over coffee.

Sunday night was very similar-- Filled with love and laughs and a lot of hugs. Even though things are hard financially right now, I know that coming home, and being a part of Cornerstone is where we belong. Since Jordan isn't working right now we have the opportunity to get more involved in groups, and this week we're going to start going to Ryan and Mary's for small group again, as often as we can, and we're both going to be starting Cornerstone University on Thursdays. I love everyone there so much... and if you were there on Sunday night, thank you for being there. Thank you for hugging me and Jordan-- for spending time with us, offering ideas, and help and prayers. You've turned around this bad situation and made us realize that good IS going to come out of it and you helped give Jordan a renewed sense of self... Thank you for that.

By the way, over the next two days, Jordan has two interviews. Both are good jobs, but one is geared towards helping people who are struggling financially, and Jordan is very excited about that interview. He really has a heart for helping people and I hope they see that in him during the interview. So please continue praying for him, and I'll let you know more as soon as I can.

I got to hold Jonah Sunday night too. A lot of people know that Jordan and I probably aren't going to have kids, and there are a lot of reasons for that decision... but what many people don't know is that before Sunday night, I'd only held 4 babies before in my life. Just 4... Jonah was the 5.
I've held my sister, a little girl named Grace, Jaxon, Leland, and Jonah... And it meant so much for me to be able to hold him. He was a perfect little warm ball of sweet smells and soft skin. Even though he was really tired and fighting sleep, he was still sweet and only fussed a few times. I loved all 10 minutes.

I've always been afraid to ask to hold babies, especially when they're as tiny as Jonah, or Jax the first time I got to hold him... I think I'm afraid I'm going to hurt them, or that they won't like me, or that their parents will say no. I don't know, either way I always avoid holding them and I just watch other people from a distance. I've held a couple of toddlers, but it's different. My joints are really weak so I can't hold anyone over 20 pounds for very long, so I usually just ask for hugs or high fives.

Hopefully when Annie, Elise and Jill have their new babies I'll be a little braver and ask to hold them too.

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bent*

It feels like forever since I written something of substance for my blog. I apologize, we still don't have Internet and my parents switched from cable to satellite (I might have spelled that wrong) so they're Internet has been down for the last week.

I can't promise that this will be that exciting, but fact-filled it WILL be.

I guess I'll start with last Friday. It was definitely Friday the 13 (I'm being completely sarcastic-- even though the day was long and awful, I'm not superstitious in the tiniest bit). I worked 13 hours that day and I wanted to run and hide from everyone that wanted anything to do with flowers or Valentines day... Yuck... Very nearly every person that came in (male and female) wanted a dozen red roses, and I wanted to shake them all and say "Could you please be a little more sincere and find a more heartfelt *personal* way to express your love, PLEASE?!?!" But, they left with they're ugly overpriced vases and bouquets in tow and I continued to answer the phone and attend to the 500 people that came in that day. That night I closed at the optical shop, which was much less stressful, and much needed for my aching feet.

BUT-- when I got home Friday night I was in for the sweetest surprise. Jordan had turned all the lights off in the apartment and had only the dining room lit up with two tiny candles. He made me a delicious dinner and bought me the prettiest, most wonderful smelling white rose and he had it in the vase he used the day he proposed to me, and he had cooked my favorite meal and rented a movie that he knew would make me laugh. He'd also put together a playlist of songs and he had them playing in the background when I came in and while we were eating. It was perfect and a little bit cheesy, and 100% Jordan and it made me forget for a little while about how crazy everything was that day and would continue to be throughout the week.

I ended up working a total of 63 hours that week, between both jobs... something I hope I don't have to do again for a while.

Sunday was my first day off in 23 days. Crazy.
Jordan's mom, Caleb (his youngest brother), Sinclair (his cousin), and Cindy all came out to spend the day with us on Sunday. It was a really long day-- we ended up going to the Arch and we could actually see the water tower that is across the street from our apartment (which was AMAZING), and afterwards we had lunch at the Spaghetti Factory on The Landing. Then we ventured over to Illinois to hang out and wind down at Barnes & Noble. I had my first cup of Starbucks in 4 months (oh, how I had missed it...) After our coffee we headed to church and had a great night. Ian preached a really powerful and confrontational sermon that reached every person on multiple levels, and dinner was (as it always is) eventful and extremely funny. Our food took a tumble the first time around, and wet bottomed Jax made his way around the ENTIRE table to hug everyone goodbye, haha! So funny!!

Tuesday was really relaxing and fun. I spent the morning dying my hair and I spent the afternoon and evening with one of my favorite people in the whole world-- Jonathan. We went EVERYWHERE. Seriously. I haven't been to that many stores in one day since the shopping extravaganza that happened when I was 18 with my friends Chavala. We had a blast. He needed new work clothes and we needed matching outfits (we're going to a mutual friend's wedding together in March and he wanted to make sure my dress matched his tie! haha!) We also had lunch and went antiquing (one of our favorite past times). Jon ended up buying a beautiful piece for his living room. It was a 100 year old little free standing cabinet with granite top. It has all of it's original hardware and the deal was too good to pass up. It looks awesome in his new living room and he had been wanting it for a few months. I ended up finding and incredible little gem. It's a book called "St. Louis, The Portrait of a River City". I'm not sure how many people know, but I collect old books, and this is an awesome new addition to my collection. Not only is it jam packed with great history, it's also a first edition print AND it was signed by the author!!! Apparently it was a personal gift to a friend, and it was only $5!!!! It was Published in 1966 and is still in great condition!

Unfortunately, after my lovely three day weekend (Sunday- Tuesday) the week started going down hill... Jordan got fired on Thursday.
That's a hard sentence to type... because now that I typing it and actually telling people, it's becoming real.
It wasn't his fault. He did absolutely everything he could for that restaurant, and he's a hard worker and a very dedicated person... but they've fired 7 people just since January, and for whatever reason... they chose to fire him too.
I feel awful for him, because the restaurant is poorly managed, and he put up with a lot of crap that he shouldn't have had to, he also picked up shifts whenever he could so he could to help support us. We had only just gotten to the point of recovering from moving, and starting to save up again...

So now it's just me, until Jordan can find another job.
We'd really appreciate prayers. I know everyone is aware of the current economic situation, and everyone is struggling because jobs are scarce... but I'd really appreciate if you could pray for Jordan, it's the first time he's ever lost a job and I know he feels a heavy burden on his heart as a man and as a husband right now.

He's already spent the last two days applying for jobs directly and looking into different staffing agencies. I'm really proud of him for working so hard, even though I know in his heart he's questioning so many things right now... I love him so much and I know that God is with us every step of the way... I know we'll make it through this.

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rain drops are falling on my head...*

but today is a good day!

the palm of my right hand is currently 3 times the size of the palm of my left hand...
last night I broke my only pair of glasses
and I've got blisters on both of my feet

BUT

God is amazing, and he put me right where I needed to be.
I have two jobs that I love, with managers that I will do anything and everything for, and on top of being on a very good career path, I've finally had the oppertunity to explore a lifelong dream (even if it's silly and small).
The optical shop has been one of the best job experiences I've ever had. Aside from the fact that it can be really slow sometimes, the skills that I'm learning and improving on are gong to go with me for the rest of my life. Debby is the best. Seriously. I don't know what I'd do without her. She's been a great lifeline, and she is one of the most giving people I've met. I love her already and I hope by the end of this experience I can let her know how much I appreciate her and all of the heart that she pours into everything.
Mary and Melissa, my managers at the flower shop are also wonderful. Mary has breast cancer and is currently undergoing radiation treatment and STILL comes to work everyday. Melissa is only a little older than me and she has two kids, one of which has autism and has special needs that require very dedicated, involved parents. I respect them both so much for the things they deal with everyday, on top of running a flower shop.

It's a very humbling thing, to know that at 22 I have everything I always quietly wished for and never thought I'd have. I have an incredibley sweet, supportive husband (who bought me the prettiest gifts for valentines- I'll blog about that in a couple a days) a growing relationship with God, a good relationship with my dad, a blossoming relationship with my little sister, friends that God brought into my life at the very best and most important times, and I finally work at a flower shop...

Is it weird that those things are all I've ever wanted? Is it too simple?

I hope not.

I know that this is only the beginning and that things will shift and change and grow as time goes on, but I'm enjoying celebrating a simple life with the people I love and the people I spend my days with.

It's easier to smile when you wake up knowing that when you get to work coffee, flowers, and smiles are waiting for you.

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strawberry wine*

"funny how those memories they last--
like strawberry wine..."

1998- 2009*

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