freedom is just another word for... nothing left to lose

>> Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I've grown restless with this place.

I wanted to pull my hair out today at work
and it took every once of self control not to shut myself in the fire-proof filing room and stay there until 430.
That job, and jobs like it, take a toll on you in the worst ways.
There's nothing like spending 9 hours a day in a giant, gray, windowless room filled with cubicles, computers, and middle aged women who would rather eat dirt than stop talking about the person on either side of them... UGH!

And I think that is the worst part. I know that gossip happens everywhere, and that everyone is guilty of it at one time or another, but to constantly hear it everyday more than you see sunlight each day is just ridiculous.


- I KNOW she's wearing something scandalous, BUT that doesn't mean that you have to talk about it for 45 minutes with three other people
- I KNOW that she is a snot, and that she hates all things that breath, smile, and laugh, BUT that doesn't mean that you have to talk about her for ten minutes after she walks by.
- Just because you have a phone at your desk doesn't mean that you have the right to use is for PERSONAL INTER-OFFICE CALLS WITH YOUR DAUGHTER WHO WORKS TWO ROWS DOWN
- If you don't feel like doing the paperwork, chances are, I don't want to do it for you, so stop putting it on my desk and laughing because you think you're so clever!
-Yes, I'm married and I'm only 22. NO I didn't get married because I was pregnant, running from the law, drunk, in Vegas, or stupid! People DO get married for out of LOVE you know.
- Even if her breath smells bad, you don't have to whisper it to the two people who sit in cubes beside her
-BY THE WAY, there is NO POINT in whispering something if you doing it so loud that a deaf person could understand.
- I know you're sitting at your desk NOT doing ANYTHING, and that you're middle aged, fat, unhappy, and popping pain killers every 3 hours, I ALSO know that your DRINKING ON THE JOB, but I don't talk about you!

- Didn't your mother ever teach you that if you don't have something nice to say DON'T SAY ANYTHING?!!?
- What about "treat others the way you want to be treated"
- Or "Love one another, as I have loved you."


It really really makes me want to shake people. Aside from it being stupid, hateful, ugly, cold-hearted, rude and distracting, it's WRONG. Best part: THERE'S NO REASON FOR IT.

No one is above making mistakes. Everyone has a bad day. Everyone wears something they shouldn't sometimes. And if you're in a room with 350 warm bodies, no windows, and gray everything, DON'T make things more complicated, ugly or stressful than they need to be just so you can feel better about yourself for ten minutes.

If you don't have SOMETHING besides gossiping to do with the small amount of time that God gives us on this earth, then you should seriously re-evaluate your live.


UGH!
I'm done now...

7 days left at work, 14 left in this state.
and they won't go by soon enough...

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crunch time

>> Friday, October 24, 2008

I'm starting to get very worried...

In only 18 days we'll be moving back to St. Louis. While I'm overjoyed at getting to live near everything and everyone I love... I'm starting to panic about the job situation.

Over the last two months I've applied at 27 different places. 27.
And I've only heard back from 5... and they aren't hiring.

please please PLEASE, if you know ANYWHERE that is hiring- even if it's only seasonal- please let me know. I have experience in everything including corporate accounting. I'm currently working in, and had hoped to find a full time job in an office.

Even if you don't know of anything, please help me by praying for us. One of the stipulations of getting our apartment is that Jordan and I have to have proof of income (in St. Louis) very soon after we move in. Jordan has some pretty promising leads, but unfortunately, I don't so far.

I'd really appreciate any prayers or ideas that anyone has to spare.

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the visitor

>> Sunday, October 19, 2008

Go see this movie. Please.
I can't tell you how much it moved my heart.





"...we are not just helpless children..."

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love, from the west coast

>> Thursday, October 16, 2008


















"From the moment we enter this live we are in the flow of it.
We measure it and we mock it, but we cannot defy it.
We cannot even speed it up or slow it down. Or can we?

Have we not each experienced the sensation that a beautiful moment seemed to pass to quickly, and wished that we could make it linger?"





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new

>> Monday, October 6, 2008



something new:

I created a separate blog for my list
Check it out from time to time. I'm going to try harder to be more conscious of updating it.

(ps. I'll still be writing everyday stuff in this blog)

Sorry this is so short, I'm in the middle of doing crazy amounts of laundry and packing for our California trip this week!

The place where the ending is always: "They lived happily ever after..."
Huntington Beach Pier, CA
Hollywood, where the streets are paved with dreams

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"hey babe, the sky's on fire..."

>> Wednesday, October 1, 2008

It's a James Taylor song.
I love old music.

Don McLean, Janis Joplin, Jim Croce, The Beatles (all the songs that no one knows), The Beach Boys, The Doors... I could go on for days.

Jonathan and Jordan can both vouch for me. haha

and I've been singing James Taylor all week.


Anyways, there has been so much going on lately that I feel like I should update everyone (Well... the three people that read this)



1. October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month
This cause is extremely dear to me, not only because I'm a woman, but because I have personally been touched and inspired by all of the love and passion that has built an incredible start to find a cure for breast cancer. I have been a part of the Susan G. Komen Race For the Cure since 2002 and have participated in everything from donating money, to actually being part of three different teams who have volunteered time and competed in races. All of the women in my life are precious to me, and I hope with my whole heart that you all take this seriously. Early detection and prevention are the best methods to preventing, catching and beating this terrible cancer. Please spread the word, and take the few minutes that it requires to read over this information and perform an at-home self examination. You could be saving a life.
Please visit this website, and encourage the women you love to do the same: http://cms.komen.org/komen/index.htm

-- If anyone would like to volunteer and/ or race with me in next years "Race For The Cure" please let me know and I will be more than happy to help you, I run on a team every year and would love to have you stand beside me.

2. We may have found and apartment!!!
Please help Jordan and I in praying for this apartment and the jobs that we have applied for. It is a grueling process to look for an apartment in a good area that is both nice and affordable. We have found one that looks extremely promising. It's in the Maplewood area of St. Louis and we are currently in the process of applying for it. It's got a wonderful location and we couldn't ask for a better neighborhood. The leasing staff have been wonderful and accommodating and hopefully we will know within a few days if we are approved and can move in.

3. We are also on the job hunt. Jordan and I have been applying for office jobs throughout the St. Louis area. If anyone has any information or tips on call centers, corporate, medical, or office centers who are hiring please please please let us know. We both really appreciate it.

4. We're going to California in ONE WEEK!!!!!!!! (Jillian- I'm making bird noises)
We are going to CA for six days to see my wonderful family, and to be a part of my cousin Maureen's wedding!!!

She has been one of the most important people in my life. I've seen God's love shine through her, and it broke my heart and made it whole again- all in one special summer that I got to spend with her and my extended family. Please pray for these two amazing people, for their marriage and the life that they are about to embark on together. I know that they will do so much for so many through their love of the Lord.

5. Last, but certainly not least, my dear friends Rachel and Danny will be celebrating one year of marriage on October 20. I'm so happy for them, and I love them both so deeply. They have been through so much in the last year, and through it all have been an unwavering symbol of trust and faith. I'm so proud of them for always trusting, and for growing together in love. It's a very hard thing to do, to trust, and to love so much, and to be so young. They bring so much happiness to so many people's lives and I know this is only the beginning. Congratulations!


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