if you have a moment...

>> Sunday, December 14, 2008

could you say a prayer with me?

There are a lot of things that have happened, are continuing to happen, and... have yet to happen that are just so much bigger than me. I can't really go into details about some of it, other parts I will share freely if you are interested, or if you would like something specific to pray for.

On a lighter note, Jordan and I have had so much to be thankful for recently:

-Jordan got a serving job at a very cool kind of upscale restaurant called PF Chang's.
I invite you all to go and check it out if you haven't already visited. It's an awesome restaurant with great food and best of all great people. Jordan really enjoys going to work, and I couldn't be happier for him because it's something that I've always hoped that he would find.

-I've had a chance to hang out with Emily.
My little sister is probably one of the most off the wall people you will meet, and despite being polar opposites (in everything from looks to personality) we've always shared a special bond. My family, at best, can be described as broken, dysfunctional, divided, and fragmented. But... I hope that with time, it doesn't always have to be that way. I hope Emily and I can prove that.

-I've been able to spend time with so many people since I've been home.
I've been able to bake cookies, get coffee, play cards with, get dinner and ice cream with, and laugh like I hadn't in months... with the very best friends that a girl could ask for. I love you all so much, and I hope you know. Especially now, especially at this time of year... and after all that has happened.



Jordan and I are so blessed... and tomorrow we get to celebrate our one year wedding anniversary. I don't think it will snow this time, and there are a lot of people that I'll miss hugging this year, but it will still be magical. This time of year always is...

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I hope that you are always...

>> Wednesday, December 3, 2008

by my side...




you mean the world to me.

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I'm Thankful...

>> Sunday, November 30, 2008

Holidays in my parents house have never really meant much. I used to think that it was because my dad was always gone, and maybe that is where it began... but now that he's home (at least more often)... not much has changed.

We've never been the family that sat down together, prayed together, or laughed together and shared cherished memories of holidays past. Instead, we were the three, sometimes four people, who happened to be in the same house together on a day when my mom happened to cook something nice. Even then, we never sat together at the table, or gave thanks together. We never prayed together, and more often than not we were trying to think of anything but the many empty holidays from the years before.

My whole life I wished for something more. I wished that my mom would teach us how to cook something simple, something fun that we could help with. I wished with my whole heart that my dad could be there (even though, I learned at a very young age that the military doesn't take into account how many holidays, birthdays, or special moments you miss with your children) I wished for magical moments filled with laughter, board games, and hugs... But it just never happened.

And even though I'll never get a chance to share those holidays with my family... I've had SO MUCH to be thankful for.

In the absence of family, I have had the very best of friends. Since I was 18 I have been spending Thanksgiving (and nearly every other holiday)with my friends, (boyfriends), and their families, and have made some of my favorite memories with them. They brought the laughter, and the love, the boardgames, the ridiculous amounts of food, and made the memories that I had always longed for, and I got to be a part of it all.

I am completely and totally indebted to all of the people who brought the magic of the holiday season into my life. Thank you for stuffing me with food, for inviting me into your homes, for insisting that I stay longer, for forcing me to learn new games, for pushing me into your family pictures, for making me laugh until I cried... and most of all- for being the family that I couldn't have at home. You've made a difference in my life that can't be expressed in words.

This year was my first married Thanksgiving, and Jordan and I had a wonderful time. In spite of the awkwardness that always surrounds my family and my parents house, and in part thanks to my sister's larger-than-life personality, there was no shortage of laughter this year. Emily took it upon herself to invite three of her friends from college over for dinner, and the catch... they're all from France! Haha! Thankfully there wasn't too much of a language barrier, because they all speak very good English, and laughter is the same, no matter where you're from. Emily introduced all of them: Maxime, Charlie, and Greg. Since we are all pretty close in age there was plenty to talk about for the few hours that they were there. It was the first time we'd ever had what you could consider a "family holiday celebration"... and it took Jordan and I being married, and Emily inviting three French guys.

But, by far the best part about Thanksgiving this year was spending "black friday" with Krystan and Keegan. We spent the afternoon at the St. Louis Zoo, running all over in an attempt to show Keegan (a Chicago native) as much as we could. We were able to find two penguins holding hands, a couple brave squirrels, little ducks with blue bills, a baby giraffe, wallabies, and five little tiger cubs! We also got a pretty cool preview of the Christmas Light Spectacular that the Zoo puts on every year. When the zoo closed we headed over to Delmar, and to our surprise and delight, it too was all decked out for Christmas. After snagging some delicious Q'doba we headed back to O'town to play the most intense and hilarious game that Wii has to offer!!! Rayman's Raving Rabbids!!!! Krystan has a video on her page of us dancing and a few pictures, that are a total crack up! We danced and played and laughed all night long, and it was definitely one of the most memorable Thanksgiving's ever.

I'm thankful for you.

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falling...*

>> Monday, November 10, 2008








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one little.. two little.. three...

>> Friday, November 7, 2008

little days left.


and I've been tagged.  Haha!
so, with no further ado...

7 Random things that you may or may not already know about moi:

1.  I have freckles in my armpits, in between my toes and on the bottom of one foot.  I have no idea why I have freckles there, but they live there nonetheless.

2.  I still get nervous hugging people that I love.  Believe it or not I wasn't hugged very often from the time I was about 5 until I was 20... and even with people that I love, it's still very hard for me to do.  So when you see me, don't give it a second thought, please just walk up to me and hug me.  I want to hug you too, I'm just nervous.

3.  I love going for long walks/ hikes and I don't get to go very often.  If you ever want some company on a little outdoor adventure, even if it's just around a neighborhood, let me know.  I'll be there.

4.  I've always wanted to work at a flower shop.  Silly, but true.

5.  The only things I'll really miss about Kentucky are in Louisville, and their names are Rachel and Danny.

6.  I'd really love to go fishing.  I've never gone my whole life, and even if it's mind-numbingly boring, I really wish someone would take me.

7.  I got to dance with my dad last month.  And when I did, an indescribably large part of my heart was healed... a lifetime of hoping, became real.  


I hope I see you soon, and I hope I get to hug you.   

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37 degrees

>> Sunday, November 2, 2008

Colour Revolt +
The Parade Schedule (Danny's band!!!) +

Rodeo Ruby Love +Anathollo +
my sweet friends Danny and Rachel made for the most incredible Halloween evening ever!
(even though it was 37 degrees outside)


xo.

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freedom is just another word for... nothing left to lose

>> Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I've grown restless with this place.

I wanted to pull my hair out today at work
and it took every once of self control not to shut myself in the fire-proof filing room and stay there until 430.
That job, and jobs like it, take a toll on you in the worst ways.
There's nothing like spending 9 hours a day in a giant, gray, windowless room filled with cubicles, computers, and middle aged women who would rather eat dirt than stop talking about the person on either side of them... UGH!

And I think that is the worst part. I know that gossip happens everywhere, and that everyone is guilty of it at one time or another, but to constantly hear it everyday more than you see sunlight each day is just ridiculous.


- I KNOW she's wearing something scandalous, BUT that doesn't mean that you have to talk about it for 45 minutes with three other people
- I KNOW that she is a snot, and that she hates all things that breath, smile, and laugh, BUT that doesn't mean that you have to talk about her for ten minutes after she walks by.
- Just because you have a phone at your desk doesn't mean that you have the right to use is for PERSONAL INTER-OFFICE CALLS WITH YOUR DAUGHTER WHO WORKS TWO ROWS DOWN
- If you don't feel like doing the paperwork, chances are, I don't want to do it for you, so stop putting it on my desk and laughing because you think you're so clever!
-Yes, I'm married and I'm only 22. NO I didn't get married because I was pregnant, running from the law, drunk, in Vegas, or stupid! People DO get married for out of LOVE you know.
- Even if her breath smells bad, you don't have to whisper it to the two people who sit in cubes beside her
-BY THE WAY, there is NO POINT in whispering something if you doing it so loud that a deaf person could understand.
- I know you're sitting at your desk NOT doing ANYTHING, and that you're middle aged, fat, unhappy, and popping pain killers every 3 hours, I ALSO know that your DRINKING ON THE JOB, but I don't talk about you!

- Didn't your mother ever teach you that if you don't have something nice to say DON'T SAY ANYTHING?!!?
- What about "treat others the way you want to be treated"
- Or "Love one another, as I have loved you."


It really really makes me want to shake people. Aside from it being stupid, hateful, ugly, cold-hearted, rude and distracting, it's WRONG. Best part: THERE'S NO REASON FOR IT.

No one is above making mistakes. Everyone has a bad day. Everyone wears something they shouldn't sometimes. And if you're in a room with 350 warm bodies, no windows, and gray everything, DON'T make things more complicated, ugly or stressful than they need to be just so you can feel better about yourself for ten minutes.

If you don't have SOMETHING besides gossiping to do with the small amount of time that God gives us on this earth, then you should seriously re-evaluate your live.


UGH!
I'm done now...

7 days left at work, 14 left in this state.
and they won't go by soon enough...

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crunch time

>> Friday, October 24, 2008

I'm starting to get very worried...

In only 18 days we'll be moving back to St. Louis. While I'm overjoyed at getting to live near everything and everyone I love... I'm starting to panic about the job situation.

Over the last two months I've applied at 27 different places. 27.
And I've only heard back from 5... and they aren't hiring.

please please PLEASE, if you know ANYWHERE that is hiring- even if it's only seasonal- please let me know. I have experience in everything including corporate accounting. I'm currently working in, and had hoped to find a full time job in an office.

Even if you don't know of anything, please help me by praying for us. One of the stipulations of getting our apartment is that Jordan and I have to have proof of income (in St. Louis) very soon after we move in. Jordan has some pretty promising leads, but unfortunately, I don't so far.

I'd really appreciate any prayers or ideas that anyone has to spare.

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the visitor

>> Sunday, October 19, 2008

Go see this movie. Please.
I can't tell you how much it moved my heart.





"...we are not just helpless children..."

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love, from the west coast

>> Thursday, October 16, 2008


















"From the moment we enter this live we are in the flow of it.
We measure it and we mock it, but we cannot defy it.
We cannot even speed it up or slow it down. Or can we?

Have we not each experienced the sensation that a beautiful moment seemed to pass to quickly, and wished that we could make it linger?"





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new

>> Monday, October 6, 2008



something new:

I created a separate blog for my list
Check it out from time to time. I'm going to try harder to be more conscious of updating it.

(ps. I'll still be writing everyday stuff in this blog)

Sorry this is so short, I'm in the middle of doing crazy amounts of laundry and packing for our California trip this week!

The place where the ending is always: "They lived happily ever after..."
Huntington Beach Pier, CA
Hollywood, where the streets are paved with dreams

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"hey babe, the sky's on fire..."

>> Wednesday, October 1, 2008

It's a James Taylor song.
I love old music.

Don McLean, Janis Joplin, Jim Croce, The Beatles (all the songs that no one knows), The Beach Boys, The Doors... I could go on for days.

Jonathan and Jordan can both vouch for me. haha

and I've been singing James Taylor all week.


Anyways, there has been so much going on lately that I feel like I should update everyone (Well... the three people that read this)



1. October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month
This cause is extremely dear to me, not only because I'm a woman, but because I have personally been touched and inspired by all of the love and passion that has built an incredible start to find a cure for breast cancer. I have been a part of the Susan G. Komen Race For the Cure since 2002 and have participated in everything from donating money, to actually being part of three different teams who have volunteered time and competed in races. All of the women in my life are precious to me, and I hope with my whole heart that you all take this seriously. Early detection and prevention are the best methods to preventing, catching and beating this terrible cancer. Please spread the word, and take the few minutes that it requires to read over this information and perform an at-home self examination. You could be saving a life.
Please visit this website, and encourage the women you love to do the same: http://cms.komen.org/komen/index.htm

-- If anyone would like to volunteer and/ or race with me in next years "Race For The Cure" please let me know and I will be more than happy to help you, I run on a team every year and would love to have you stand beside me.

2. We may have found and apartment!!!
Please help Jordan and I in praying for this apartment and the jobs that we have applied for. It is a grueling process to look for an apartment in a good area that is both nice and affordable. We have found one that looks extremely promising. It's in the Maplewood area of St. Louis and we are currently in the process of applying for it. It's got a wonderful location and we couldn't ask for a better neighborhood. The leasing staff have been wonderful and accommodating and hopefully we will know within a few days if we are approved and can move in.

3. We are also on the job hunt. Jordan and I have been applying for office jobs throughout the St. Louis area. If anyone has any information or tips on call centers, corporate, medical, or office centers who are hiring please please please let us know. We both really appreciate it.

4. We're going to California in ONE WEEK!!!!!!!! (Jillian- I'm making bird noises)
We are going to CA for six days to see my wonderful family, and to be a part of my cousin Maureen's wedding!!!

She has been one of the most important people in my life. I've seen God's love shine through her, and it broke my heart and made it whole again- all in one special summer that I got to spend with her and my extended family. Please pray for these two amazing people, for their marriage and the life that they are about to embark on together. I know that they will do so much for so many through their love of the Lord.

5. Last, but certainly not least, my dear friends Rachel and Danny will be celebrating one year of marriage on October 20. I'm so happy for them, and I love them both so deeply. They have been through so much in the last year, and through it all have been an unwavering symbol of trust and faith. I'm so proud of them for always trusting, and for growing together in love. It's a very hard thing to do, to trust, and to love so much, and to be so young. They bring so much happiness to so many people's lives and I know this is only the beginning. Congratulations!


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If you found me where the earth turns gold...

>> Monday, September 29, 2008

would you know that my heart was whole...
would you know that this is home?


Every time I leave is harder than the last.

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my winnebago

>> Thursday, September 25, 2008



If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. -Mark Twain

My cat speaks sign language with her tail. -Robert A. Stern

Cats are love on four tiny legs. -Richard Torregrossa

People that don't like cats haven't met the right one yet. -Deborah A. Edwards

What greater gift than the love of a cat? -Charles Dickens

Our character is made up of what God and our cats know of us. -Inspired by Thomas Paine

I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat. -Edgar Allan Poe

The smallest feline is a masterpiece. - Leonardo DaVinci


Way down deep, we're all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them. -Jim Davis

Cats, no less liquid than their shadows, offer no angles to the wind. They slip, diminished, neat, through loopholes less than themselves. -A.S.J. Tessimond




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